‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’ (1978) (B-Movie Review) — Part Three
Time for another part of this movie review.
We pick up with the story after Part 2.
Although the masked man who keeps trying to kill Mason keeps missing the mark, in all the excitement, Gretta the Olympic swimmer dies.
Meanwhile, our fearless leaders bring tanks and troops to the West Coast (where agriculture is a massive industry so many tomatoes grow) and a battle ensues in which American forces get their asses handed to them. Mason Dixon strides through the rubble like someone from that scene in Gone With The Wind, where bodies are lying all over the place. But he spots a trail of tomato juice and follows it to its source, which turns out to be a rather aggressive tomato.
The oversized fruit goes after Mason, chasing him through an apartment where a kid listens to a radio, deliciously oblivious to the movie taking place around him. Things look dire for Mason after he’s cornered by The Big Red Thing, until the tomato decides to hurl itself out the window. Peering out to see if the offending tomato has fallen to its death, Mason spots his would-be assassin stealing his car, dragging Parachute Guy who’s attached to it around like he’s in a scene from The Wild Bunch.
What ensues is a “slow car chase” that has since been copied by other comedies (not to mention real-life murder suspects). Eventually, Mason is knocked unconscious by his own car. At some point, Dixon wakes up to find himself captured by Richardson, the guy assigned to the fake ad agency. This fellow has some kind of cock-eyed plan to take over the world once the tomatoes have caused the collapse of civilization, leaving him in charge of whatever's left.
May I remind you that this film was released in 1978. Decades before you-know-who took office. And we thought Nixon was an asshole.
Richardson (who happens to look a lot like the Poor Man’s Larry Hagman) is about to deliver one of those monologues where the villain describes their devious plan and how it will work in the most excruciating detail, to the point where one may be tempted to shout “Get on with it! We get it, already!” when Parachute Guy charges in and skewers Richardson on a sword like badly-dressed, deranged samurai.
Kung fu was big in the 70s. Kung fu and samurais (which were big in the 50s, 60s and 70s, and still are).
*****
More to come! :)
